人脉社交是一项独立的技能,而不只是普通交流的一种。这里用到的英语并不难;真正难的是流程本身。
如何加入一个群体
站在旁边等待,几乎从来不管用。要主动说点什么。
- Mind if I join you?
- Is this seat taken?
- Sorry to interrupt — I couldn't help overhearing.
- I don't think we've met. I'm Alina.
«I don't think we've met» 是活动上最有用的一句话。它温和、没有风险,即便你们其实已经认识,也照样管用。
一个实用的小技巧:走向三人以上的群体,而不是一对一在聊天的两个人。两个人通常正聊到一半;人多一点的群体则自带停顿的空当,而且人们往往会自然地挪出位置,让走近的人加入。
准备好自己对«so what do you do?»的回答
整场活动下来,这个问题可能会被问上十次,所以要提前准备好两句话:你做什么工作,以及一个能引出追问的点。
I'm a data analyst — I work for a logistics company. Most of my job is explaining to people why the numbers they want don't exist yet.
真正起作用的是第二句话。光说职位名称,只会让交流就此打住。
如何延续第一句话之后的对话
姓名和职业能聊的内容一分半钟就用完了。真正延长对话的,是那种没法用一个词回答的问题。
弱:Do you like it here? 好:What brought you to this event? · How do you know the organisers? · What are you working on at the moment?
原则是:问的是情境和选择,而不是「是/否」类的事实。
如何维持对话
- That's interesting — how does that work?
- Really? I'd never have guessed.
- Same here. / I know what you mean.
- What made you decide to do that?
追问比精彩的发言更管用。 人们记住的,是那些让自己多说话的对话。
如果忘了对方的名字
这种情况经常发生,而且有现成的应对方式:
- Sorry, remind me of your name?
- I'm terrible with names — Marek, wasn't it?
- 把这个人介绍给第三个人,空白自然就补上了:Have you two met?——他们会各自报出名字。
没有人会因此介意。反倒是整晚都躲着这个人,要显眼得多。
尴尬的时刻
- 因为噪音没听清:Sorry, it's really loud in here — say that again?
- 话题聊完了:Anyway — have you been to one of these before?
- 你不喝酒:I'm fine with a soft drink, thanks. · I'm driving.(不需要进一步解释)
- 对方说个不停:That's fascinating. Sorry, I must just catch Anna before she goes.
交换联系方式
- Do you have a card?
- Shall we connect on LinkedIn?
- Could I get your email? I'll send you that link.
提出一件具体的事——一个链接、一次引荐、一篇文章——能让这次交换有实际意义,也给以后联系一个自然的理由。
如何体面地离开
这恰恰是学习者最欠缺的一环,也是他们容易在对话里脱不开身的原因。
- Well, I should let you mingle.
- It was really good to meet you — I'll drop you a line.
- I'm going to grab another drink, but let's talk again later.
- Anyway, I won't keep you.
这些都是双方心照不宣的礼貌套话。正因为如此它们才管用:双方都能从对话中脱身,谁也没有被冷落。
事后的邮件
Hi Marek — great to meet you at the conference yesterday. Here's the article I mentioned. Would be good to stay in touch.
简短,带上具体的提及,附带一点实际用处。两天之内发出。
目标是三次真正的对话,而不是三十次泛泛之交。 这里用到的英语,B2 水平完全够用——真正起作用的,是那个追问和没有被忘记的事后邮件。收集了一堆永远不会联系的名片,不管用哪种语言都毫无意义。
四分钟完成一次完整的相识
A: I don't think we've met — I'm Alina.
B: Marek. Nice to meet you. What brought you along?
A: My team's just started doing this kind of reporting, so I came to steal ideas. You?
B: I've been coming for years — I know the organisers from university.
A: Oh really? What made you get into it in the first place?
B: Long story, but essentially…
A: …that's fascinating. Look, I should let you mingle — but shall we connect on LinkedIn? I'll send you that report I mentioned.
B: Please do. Good to meet you.
开场、开放式提问、反问、追问、告别语,加上一个具体的联系理由。
自测
下面的测验考查的是流程,而不是词汇。